I am back to the decision of whether or not I should stay in Indo for an extra year. I don't know what to do. I don't have much to say about it right now, but since so many peeps are pissed that I post my thoughts on FB instead of through emails and on my blog, I figured I would let you know where my head is via my blog this time (it IS a 2009 resolution of mine, of course, to post more on my blog...the resolution being complete with guidelines and metrics in place to ensure that I make you happy in acheiving my goal)...if you read it, please comment so I know I spent my time wisely. People always comment on my FB status, which is one of the attractions.
I don't know what to do. Of course, I ask those close to me for guidance. There are those who would never leave their hometown for anything and those who would never return to their hometown for anything and those who are slightly in between. It is an interesting array of perspectives. Before you go on saying this is my decision and no one elses, I know. I know that. No one but me will sign that contract. Got it. I just need your help on how to arrive at the decision. What questions do I ask Liz? And before you ask, remember that I like instability...well, in the sense of doing different things all the time and being in different places and making weird decisions to see if I can survive. I like doing what I love to do, which is clearly NOT sitting at a computer...well, unless that computer is home to a 6 hour online chat with an old buddy from college. I like drama. Not quite soap opera drama, but you know, that CAN be a quick fix...hmmmm....
And running away - forget about it. I'm not running away. I would like to tell you that living overseas has been the best decision I have made in years but has probably opened more worm cans than if I had just stayed in Chicago. And don't go saying that returning to Chicago is running away from Indonesia, then. That's just silly and my life will be one crazy circle, around and around and around and...and then I will think you really just don't know what you are talking about.
And please don't throw my age into this. Self-discovery is commendable at any age; it just depends on who it affects. I don't have children, so it affects me. If it affects you negatively, then all I can think to say is thank you for allowing my friendship to impact your life. It is an honor, truly, and I feel fortunate that my friends care about my friendship so much. However, self-discovery just happened to bring me to the other side of Earth at age 30...okay. okay.
And lastly, you may think this entry is directed towards you, but its directed towards me. If you are offended, you shouldn't be. You aren't the only one who is(n't) reading this blog or who doesn't get the whole story or who gets one email a month or who has been asked for advice. The record needs to be set straight on certain things and I needed to brainstorm. Thanks for listening.
oh yeah, and the earthquake was really far away, so I am safe! Thanks to all those who were concerned and told me so.
oh yeah, and my phone number is +62 81 388 290906. Feel free to call.
xoxoliz
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1 comment:
I guess I am the first to comment. In response to your emial, it doesn't sount bitchy at all. You are expressing your feelings and concers, you have every right, but one thing you are not i sa bitch. If you were it would be really easy for me to tell you to stay, because in that case I would not want you home. But you are not. You are my big sisiter and I want nothing more than for you to be happy. I am not making me happy by telling you to come home, becuase I don't think that is what you really want right now. I think you will come home when you need to. It sucks to like you happy. I have not "seen" you this happy since you left.
I love you!!!!!!
P.S. Heidi and I both agreed that this 2009 is the selfish year. We are doing what WE, as indiciduals, want to do and what is best for us this year and not really considering others (within reason, of course). I hope that helps.
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